​Being held accountable can be beneficial for several reasons. Firstly, accountability helps you to take ownership of your actions and decisions. When you are accountable, you are more conscious of the impact of your choices, and you are more likely to make responsible decisions. This, in turn, helps you to build self-discipline and self-control, which are essential traits for personal and professional growth.
 
Secondly, accountability promotes learning and growth. When you are held accountable for your actions, you are more likely to learn from your mistakes and take steps to avoid making the same mistakes in the future. This helps you to develop new skills, knowledge, and experiences that can help you to achieve your goals and succeed in your endeavors.
 
Thirdly, accountability builds trust and credibility. When you are accountable, you demonstrate to others that you are reliable and trustworthy. This, in turn, helps you to build stronger relationships, whether it is with your friends, family, or colleagues. Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship, and accountability plays a crucial role in building and maintaining that trust.
 
Lastly, accountability promotes a sense of purpose and motivation. When you are accountable, you have a clear understanding of your responsibilities and what is expected of you. This helps you to stay focused and motivated, knowing that your actions and decisions have a direct impact on your success and the success of those around you.
 
In conclusion, being held accountable can help you to take ownership of your actions, promote learning and growth, build trust and credibility, and provide a sense of purpose and motivation. It is essential to embrace accountability as a means to achieve personal and professional success.

 
Adulting can be tough. Many of us enter the real world with high expectations, only to be met with a harsh reality. We quickly realize that life as an adult is not always as glamorous as it seems. Here, we'll explore some of the struggles of adulting and offer some tips for navigating this challenging time.

1. Financial Stress: One of the most significant struggles of adulting is financial stress. As adults, we are responsible for paying bills, managing our finances, and planning for the future. This can be overwhelming, especially for those who are just starting their careers or living on their own for the first time. To combat financial stress, create a realistic budget and stick to it. Consider seeking the advice of a financial planner to help you navigate this complex area.
2. Career Uncertainty: Another challenge of adulting is career uncertainty. Many of us enter the workforce without a clear idea of what we want to do, or we may find ourselves in a job that doesn't align with our passions or values. To combat this, take time to reflect on your career goals and passions. Consider seeking the advice of a career counselor or mentor to help guide you in the right direction.
3. Relationship Struggles: As adults, we are responsible for managing our own relationships, whether it be with friends, family, or romantic partners. This can be challenging, especially when conflicts arise. To navigate relationship struggles, practice effective communication, set healthy boundaries, and seek the advice of a therapist or counselor if necessary.
4. Time Management: Another struggle of adulting is time management. As adults, we often have many responsibilities and obligations, from work to family to social engagements. To manage your time effectively, create a schedule and prioritize your tasks. Consider saying no to commitments that don't align with your priorities.
5. Mental Health: Finally, adulting can take a toll on our mental health. From financial stress to relationship struggles, the challenges of adulthood can be overwhelming. To prioritize your mental health, take time for self-care activities, such as meditation, exercise, or spending time in nature. Seek the advice of a therapist or counselor if necessary.

In conclusion, adulting can be tough, but it's also a time of growth and self-discovery. To navigate the challenges of adulthood, prioritize your finances, reflect on your career goals, practice effective communication, manage your time effectively, and prioritize your mental health. Remember that you're not alone in this journey and seek the support of friends, family, or professionals if necessary. 

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When it comes to mental health therapy, many people opt for insurance coverage in order to reduce their out-of-pocket expenses. However, self-pay can provide a variety of significant benefits that make it a worthwhile choice for many people. Here are just a few advantages of self-pay for mental health therapy:
 
Access to More Therapists
In some areas, there may be a limited selection of therapists who accept insurance. By paying for therapy out of pocket, you can access more therapists and find the one that is the best fit for you.
More Privacy
Insurance companies require a great deal of information in order to cover mental health services, and that information can be shared without your consent. Self-pay allows you to maintain a greater degree of privacy and control over your personal information.
Control Over Treatment
Insurance companies have their own rules and regulations when it comes to mental health coverage, and they may not cover certain types of treatments or therapies. Self-pay allows you to choose the treatments and therapies that are right for you without having to worry about insurance coverage.
Faster Appointments
When you use insurance for mental health therapy, you may need to wait weeks or even months for an appointment. Self-pay allows you to get in to see a therapist much more quickly.
Flexible Payment Options
Many therapists who don’t take insurance offer payment plans or sliding scales, allowing you to pay for services in a way that fits your budget. This flexibility gives you more control over the cost of therapy and makes it a more viable option for people with limited resources.
 
There are a variety of benefits to self-pay for mental health therapy that make it a worthwhile option for many people. By understanding the advantages of self-pay, you can make the best decision for your own mental health needs.
 

​Setting clear boundaries in relationships is essential for both parties to ensure that everyone’s needs are met and that no one feels taken advantage of or taken for granted. Clear boundaries are vital to help avoid misunderstandings and ensure that both parties feel respected and heard. Boundaries are a key part of self-care and maintaining healthy relationships. Boundaries provide structure and guidance for how we interact with others and manage our emotional and physical wellbeing. By establishing clear boundaries, we can create a safe space to express our feelings, thoughts, and needs while also protecting ourselves from the potential harm that can arise when others don't respect our limits.
When clear boundaries are established in your relationships, you will be able to create a healthy and happy environment. Here are some tips on how to set clear boundaries in relationships:

1. Know your needs. Before setting boundaries, it’s important to know what your needs are and be willing to communicate them to your partner.
2. Communicate clearly. Clear communication is a key part of setting boundaries. Make sure to be open and honest about what you need and expect from the relationship.
3. Respect each other’s boundaries. Respect your partner’s boundaries as much as you would like them to respect yours.
4. Don’t be afraid to say “no”. Boundaries are not meant to be broken. Learn to be assertive and set limits when needed.
5. Be willing to negotiate. Remember that relationships involve compromise, so it’s important to be willing to negotiate and come to mutually beneficial agreements.
6. Reevaluate regularly. Relationships change over time, so it’s important to reassess and adjust your boundaries as needed.

 
“If someone throws a fit because you set boundaries, it’s just more evidence the boundary is needed.” - unknown 

​Attachment theory is one of the most influential psychological theories that provides insight into the development of relationships between young children and their primary caregivers. Attachment theory has been particularly influential in the study of the development of interpersonal relationships and has been increasingly used to inform research and practice in understanding adult relationships. 
 
Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space. It is learned in infancy as an infant begins to form an attachment relationship with his or her primary caregiver. From a psychological standpoint, the attachment between a young child and a parent or caregiver is the foundation upon which all future relationships will be built. 
 
In adults, attachment theory suggests that people tend to develop attachments that are similar to their early childhood attachment relationships. For example, individuals who had close, secure relationships with their primary caregivers in early childhood are more likely to develop secure attachments with their partners later in life. Similarly, people who experienced insecure or negative attachment relationships in early childhood are more likely to develop insecure attachments in adulthood. 
 
The impacts of attachment theory in adulthood are wide-ranging. Adults who had secure attachments in childhood are more likely to have stronger intimate relationships and are better able to handle the stresses of life. They tend to have more successful relationships because they are able to communicate their feelings more effectively and are better able to empathize with their partners. They also have greater self-confidence, which allows them to have healthier emotional reactions and better self-care. 
 
Conversely, adults who had insecure attachments in childhood tend to have difficulty forming close, meaningful relationships. They may struggle to trust their partners and are often overly suspicious or clingy in relationships. They may also have difficulty managing their emotions and often engage in destructive behavior. 
 
Overall, attachment theory has tremendous implications for how adults form and maintain relationships. By understanding the connection between early childhood attachment and adult intimate relationships, we can better understand the dynamics of adult relationships and how to better support adults in forming and maintaining secure, healthy relationships.
 
As you consider the information provided here, please take a moment to reflect on the following journal prompts:
What do I need from my relationships to feel secure and supported?
What are my experiences of attachment, both positive and negative?
How can I use my understanding of attachment to build healthier relationships in the future?
 
At Nancy Thomas counseling, we administer an ECR-R (experiences in close relationships) assessment that provides clients with information pertaining to their attachment style and allows the therapeutic work to be informed by these outcomes. If you are interested in learning more, please reach out for a free consultation.